List of Australian television series

Fantastic plastic - credit card. The program is modelled around the Soccer SAP prgorams with skill development, training 3 times a week, weekend games right way through a full season. In , he and four or five other inmates contrived a well-planned escape, cutting the lights at Moundsville state prison and setting a fire to distract attention. Unless significant outside money comes in i. The Great Outdoors I got no problem in nz, with the NZRU treating the schools as rugby academy factories.. Griffith went on to serve a further 12 years before dying, still in jail — though not before contriving a road trip to the west coast.

Ladbrokes Sports Betting: Football, horse racing and more!

Recommended For Your Pleasure

League Championship Cup Discussions: Foxtel Cup facing the chop SellarStardom , Apr 22, Kntfl carloss , Sep 9, Local Tassie football leagues. Regional Footy - Vic Country Victorian country football leagues.

Mornington Peninsula Nepean FL. Footy Cards Footy card trading and talk. Ultimate Footy Ultimate Footy game discussion. SuperCoach SuperCoach information, scoring, teams, player selections, information for beginners.

Dream Team Fantasy Leagues. Soccer, League, and Union. Association Football Soccer 'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go Matchday 7 charcoalchicken , Sep 29, at 9: Rugby Union The game they play in heaven. Sponsored by BigRugby Shop Discussions: Madden 19 Franchise PS4 - Year 1. HumanMeatball , Sep 29, at 9: Major League Baseball If you build it, they will come. BigFooty Fantasy Cricket League. Olympic, Commonwealth, and more Olympic Games, Commonwealth Games, and other international sports events.

Asian games Grandsun , Aug 19, General Sports Golf, fishing, netball, surf, skate, extreme sports, obscure local and international sports. Cycling Two wheels good, four wheels bad Discussions: General cycling news and discussion Orange Agent , Sep 28, at 4: Motor Board Cars, motorsports, monster trucks UFC, boxing and other fighting. Poker Got the nuts? BigFooty Geek For the child in all of us. Computers and Technology Computers, programming, hardware, gadgets, technology. Who has Kevin Sheedy Manager??

JeanLucGoddard , Sep 26, at 4: The World Mobbs , Sep 26, at 2: Comics and Animation Discussions: There's a Comicsgate now? Chief , Sep 26, at Board Games and RPGs 6 sides bad, 20 sides good. NTRabbit , Sep 28, at 3: Education and Employment Discussion of Primary to tertiary schooling, plus employment and work. Thinking about becoming a teacher jameses , Sep 27, at This cobber has carked it after too many ciggies and coldies. Cancer stick - a cigarette. Cark it - to die, stop functioning.

Cask - boxed wine in a bladder. Choof off - leave, depart. Chrissie - Christmas Chrissy pressies - christmas presents. Clayton's - fake, substitute. Click - kilometre - "it's 10 clicks down the road". Clucky - feeling broody or maternal. Cockie - farmer, cockatoo or cockroach. Cockroach - a person from New South Wales.

Coldie - a beer. Compo - Workers Compensation pay. Cook up a storm - Cook up a really nice or elaborate dinner. Cooee - a call used to find someone lost in the bush, a place can be 'within cooee of.. The Coon cheese you may see in the shop is named after American doctor Edward William Coon who patented a process for the accelerated ripening of natural, unprocessed cheese in and has absolutely nothing to do with Australian Aborigines.

Cop - police officer. Copshop - police station. Corker - something that is real beaut. Counter lunch - pub lunch. Country cousins - euphemistic term for Aboriginals. Cozzie - swimming costume.

Crack onto someone - to hit on someone, pursue someone romantically. Cranky - in a bad mood, angry, grumpy. Crash - Go to sleep, often at someone else's house! Crook - can mean criminal he is a crook or indicate someone not feeling well I'm a bit crook, mate. Croweater - resident of South Australia. Cuppa - cup of tea. Cushie - to have it easy, a cushie job. Cut lunch - sandwiches. This Dinky Di dero is driving the porcelain bus in this Down Under dunny.

Dag - a funny person, nerd, goof. Damper - bread made from flour and water. Dead as a dodo - very dead or boring. Deadset - true, the truth. Defrosting the fridge - foreplay. Dero - tramp, hobo, homeless person from "derelict". Dickhead - an idiot. Digger - an Australian soldier. Dill - an idiot. Ding - a wog in Western Australia.

Dinkum, fair dinkum -: Dinkie-di - the real thing, genuine. Dipstick - a loser, idiot. Dingo girl - Refers to waking up after a drunken night with your arms around a particularly ugly female and rather than wake her up by pulling your arm out from underneath her you chew your arm off like trapped dingoes do and quietly disappear. Dishpig - person that washes the dishes in a restaurant.

Ditch - "The ditch' is the water that separates Australia from New Zealand. Ditch the bitch - break up with your girlfriend. Dizzy - the distributor in your car. Dob somebody in - inform on somebody. Docket - a bill, receipt. Dog - unattractive woman. Dog's balls, stands out like - bloody obvious. Dole - social security. Dole bludger - somebody lazy voluntarily on social security. Donk - car engine. Doona - duvet, quilt. Down Under - Australia and New Zealand.

Drink with the flies - to drink alone. Driving the porcelain bus - to vomit into the toiletbowl while holding the bowl with both hands, similar to a steering wheel. Drongo - a dopey, stupid person. Dropkick - a dipstick. Dummy, spit the - get very angry about something.

Dunny - outhouse or toilet. That last trip to the Ekka turned out a bit exy. Earbashing - nagging, non-stop chatter. Ekka - the Brisbane Exhibition, an annual show. These fair dinkum fruitloops in Freo are pretty full after a fortnight flatout drinking like a lizard. Fair dinkum - true, genuine. Fair go - a chance "give a bloke a fair go". Fairy floss - candy floss, cotton candy.

Fantastic plastic - credit card. Feral - a hairy, unclean looking hippie. Firie - member of the fire brigade. Five-finger discount - act of shoplifting. Flat out as a lizard drinking - very busy. Foodie - person interested in fine foods.

Fossick - to prospect, e. Fortnight - two week period. Fremantle Doctor - the cooling afternoon breeze that arrives in Perth from the direction of Freo. Freo - Fremantle in Western Australia. Frog - resident of France. Fruit loop - fool. Garbo - garbage collector. Genny - generator petrol or diesel powered device to generate electricity.

G'Day or G'day mate - hello! This is a traditional Aussie greeting, but made even more popular by Aussie actor Paul Hogan in the movie Crocodile Dundee. Glassie - the person that walks around the pub to collect empty glasses. Going off - used of a night spot or party that is a lot of fun - "the place was really going off". Also "she went off at him" meaning she gave him a good telling off. Good oil - useful information, a good idea, the truth.

Good onya - good for you, well done. Going troppo - mental health problems due to excessive heat, common in Darwin in summer time. Gone walkabout - traditionally an Aboriginal person going bush for spiritual reasons, now also used to refer to anyone disappearing for a while. Green can - term for VB beer.

Greenie - environmentally minded person. Grog - booze, alcohol. Grog shop - licensed outlet selling alcohol. Grommet - young surfer. Grotty - run-down, dirty. Grouse - very good, cool! After heaps of hard yakka, hoons hit the grog and have a handle at this hotel.

Half your luck - congratulations! Handle - beer glass with a handle. Hanging for a banging - sexually aroused, looking for a sexual encounter. Hard yakka - hard work. Hard yards - hard work, training. Heart-starter - first alcoholic drink of the day, sometimes first cigarette. Heaps - a lot, e. Heave - to vomit. Hit the grog - Start drinking. Hit the piss - Start drinking. Hotel - often just a pub, not necessarily a place to sleep, although there's often a couple of rooms to rent.

Humpie - shack or temporary home in the bush. Julian got in the shit with the Yanks thanks to his Wikileaks website and appeared regularly on the idiot box. I could eat the ass out of a low flying duck - I am very hungry! Icy pole, ice block - popsicle, lollypop. Idiot box - television. If it's got tits or wheels, sooner or later you're gonna have problems with it. I'll be buggered - an expression of surprise or amazement.

In the shit - in trouble. This jillaroo is feeding a joey. Jaffle - toasted sandwich. Jaffle iron - camping tool, used to make a toasted sandwich.

Jocks - mens underpants. Joe Blow - Mr. Joey - baby kangaroo, koala or any marsupial. This sheila with nice knockers will need to look for a kindie soon as she has been knocked up. Kelpie - Australian sheepdog originally bred from Scottish collie. Kicked the bucket - died. Kindie - kindergarten, pre-school. Kiwi - either a resident of New Zealand or a Chinese gooseberry nowadays marketed as kiwi fruit or a small endangered bird native to New Zealand.

Knock - to criticise. Knock back - refusal they knocked it back. Knocked up - Made pregnant he knocked her up. Knocker - somebody who criticises a lot.

Knockers - woman's breasts. Knuckle sandwich - A punch! Kraut - resident of Germany. Larrikin from the Lucky Country. Lamington - small square of sponge cake covered in chocolate icing, and dessicated coconut.

Larrikin - a bloke who is always behaving silly. Lay-by - store system of paying for goods in instalments. Also an attractive person usually male who is not old enough for sex yet, or where there is a big age gap Lend of, to have a - to take advantage of somebody's gullibility, to have someone on "he's having a lend of you".

Lilo - Air mattress. Liquid lunch - drinking beer at lunchtime. Longneck - tall bottle of beer, ml or 26oz. Lucky Country, The - Australia. Thanks to this mud map me an my mate can make tracks so we can get away from the mozzies , hopefully me missus will have a middy and some mull ready From inside, a digger took the top layer of grey dust and placed it in a box.

Bowls were used for shovels. So as not to leave a gaping hole in the yard, a board was placed over the hole and covered with the grey dust from the box. Guards walked right over it, and didn't notice. The yellow dirt, meanwhile, was brought inside the prison with the digger, where it was disposed of in gardens, rooftops, and the toilet, Shawshank-style.

The noise from digging, which would be picked up by microphones placed along the fence line, was attributed to the gymnasts leaping around the yard. Just me and my leotards, no digging going on here Almost four months and many sweaty testicles later, the tunnel was ready. The three men punched through , assumed fake identities, and travelled across Europe, eventually making it to Britain via Sweden.

As for the pommel horse and all those gymnasts back in the camp In , while flying his Polikarpov I over Staraya, which was rife with Nazis at the time, Alexey was shot down. The blast and crash fell short of killing the Russian ace, but he was severely wounded and still in enemy territory.

His legs in particular had been badly mangled, which all but eliminated the possibility of a Hollywood-like slow motion walk away from the impending explosions and danger. Even a flailing girly panic sprint was impossible. You know that story grandpa used to tell you about how he would four miles through two-feet of snow everyday just so he could get to school? Well, your grandpa was a worthless pussy compared to Alexey Maresyev. After being shot down, Maresyev crawled through snow, with little food and Nazis around every corner The pain was so severe that Alexey frequently passed out, only to awaken, grab death by the throat and shake it while laughing maniacally, and start crawling again.

Experts call this a Crazy Level Busey. Eventually, he made it back to friendly turf, only to have doctors chop off his legs below the knees. The wounds had festered during his day crawl and had to come off to save his life. We're assuming that, if he had known this in advance, he probably would have just torn them off himself using nothing more than his bare hands.

At this point, anyone would've called it a day, confident that two limbs is just about enough to give in service to their country.

Alexey, on the other hand, was having no part of this girlish suggestion. After recovering somewhat, he got to work figuring how to get around on crutches and fake legs with the intent of getting back into a plane.

In order to prove he was capable, among other things, Alexey even danced for the certification commission sent to judge whether or not he was fit to return to battle.

Realizing that he was both capable of flying a plane and almost certainly insane, they let him fly again and he was back in the air by In August of the same year, he shot down three German fighters in a dogfight. He went on to fly 86 combat missions and, by the end of his Nazi-killing days, had taken out no less than 11 enemy warplanes.

For his trouble, Alexey received the Golden Star of the Hero of the Soviet Union, the highest and longest named award that any Russian person could ever hope to get. Naturally, Maresyev's exploits made him a national hero in his native Russia, but far be it from him to accept the acclaim. The fact that I've been turned into a legend irritates me," he once said.

To drive this sentiment home, he made it a point to die just moments before a national celebration commemorating his 85th birthday. Benedict Arnold fought for the British during the American Revolution. Even worse, he did it despite being American.

Attempting to use his position as a general in the Continental Army to gain control of West Point then surrender it to the British, he was discovered, thwarted and his name has since become synonymous with "English muffins topped with bacon, poached eggs and hollandaise sauce.

Arnold actually did all that stuff. Switching sides, trying to surrender West Point, the whole shebang. But you know what? Considering the circumstances, it's hard to say we blame him. This shameless display of unmitigated gall, however, is inexcusable. When you look at pre-treachery Arnold, what you find is an almost comical beacon of good old-fashioned American virtue.

After his mother died, he single-handedly supported his sister and suicidally alcoholic father; he enlisted to fight off a French invasion when he was 15; he grew up to be a successful capitalist and family man.

If he'd fought a duel against somebody for using "Yankee" as an insult, he would've been the ultimate American. What, he did that? Then there was his record during the revolution. He planned and led the famous siege of Fort Ticonderoga. Somewhere around here his wife died, but he soldiered on, masterminding the strategic invasion of Quebec, where he held position for weeks despite being cut off from the rest of the army and shot in the leg.

He held back the British at Lake Champlain, he was instrumental in the Danbury raid, he was essential to the success of the Battle of Saratoga. If he fell off a bridge and died at this point, there would be a foot tall statue of him in Connecticut, made of platinum and diamonds. The army must have loved this guy, right? Surely by this stage he was being carried everywhere by a living throne of nubile young women.

Wait, instead they repeatedly passed him over for promotion with younger, less experienced men? And other officers tried to take credit for his achievements? And he was investigated by congress on baseless accusations of corruption? Basically, after all his bravery, sacrifice and bullet holes, America seemed to develop a great passion for kicking Arnold in the gut.

It didn't help that at the same time they were creating an alliance with France, the bad guys from Arnold's teenage war adventures. Under those conditions, it's understandable that he'd quit the team. People may have had more respect for him if, rather than being sneaky about it, he'd yelled "Fuck you all, I'm with England now" as he rode off giving everyone the rudest gesture of the times. It's the betrayal that irks people. But hey, America, you started it.

In , year-old Rukhsana Kausar was spending time with her family in Jammu, India. Located in the Kashmir region that both India and Pakistan claim ownership of, Jammu is basically the island from Lost: Her mother was presumably just about to start passive-aggressively asking about babies, as all mothers do, when Pakistani militants rushed into Kausar's village.

Four guards posted up outside of her house, while three gunmen went in and beat Kausar's parents and uncle in front of her and her siblings. Luckily for Kausar, her parents had stuffed her under a bed before they came in. But after her parents fell to the ground in front of her, she found she could take no more. Kausar leaped up behind one of the gunmen who was also armed with an ax , grabbed him by the hair, bashed his head into the wall, and threw him down. She clocked the floored invader with his own ax, seized his rifle, and blasted commander Abu "I feel like my name was made up by racists" Osama into pieces.

She tagged another as he fled, and started a pitched battle with the rest of the militants that lasted for hours. After seeing their commander smoked by a teenage girl, then trying to take her out for half a day with only injuries on their side, the rest of the militants decided they'd rather not risk getting made fun of quite so hard in hell, so they packed up and fled.

Kausar's family and village were safe But watch out for Kausar: First Blood Part 2 , coming to a hotly contested valley near you. At the same time, a relatively new designation for citizens called "conscientious objectors" was coming into being. Some people who were strongly opposed to Axis powers taking lives naturally had an aversion to themselves taking lives, and they refused to fight.

Since Nazis weren't going to kill themselves, these objectors were not exactly highly thought of. It was very easy to see "conscientious objector" as a fancy term for "coward" in the eyes of those who saw the war as our only chance to stop world domination at the hands of psychotic supervillains. But the COs weren't just going to sit that shit out -- they found other ways to contribute that wound up putting their lives on the line.

For instance, of them volunteered for a vital mission: We aren't talking your typical "three of you take this placebo while three of you take this other thing that may give you an upset stomach" experiments.

We're talking shit intended to find out what kills people in wartime conditions. We're talking being exposed to extreme heights, food deprivation, and life-threatening weather conditions. Many of these COs were injected with malaria, pneumonia, hepatitis, typhus, and other diseases that, in previous wars, took more lives than bullets. Some were covered with lice and sprayed with DDT.

But the ones who arguably had it the worst were the 36 COs who agreed to be starved nearly to death. Meaning they got half the minimum rations needed to sustain a human life while being expected to continue regular activities. The results of what these people allowed to be done to themselves were significant enough to influence the Marshall Plan , the program by which the nations devastated by the war were repaired.

We're assuming Captain America fits in around this point. So, yeah, these guys proved that being a conscientious objector wasn't about fearing for their own safety -- they appeared to not give a shit about that. They just wanted to be nuts in a way that didn't kill anybody else. The Dirty Dozen , a film that would probably not have been possible had the Filthy Thirteen not come out first.

The Filthy Thirteen were a sub-unit within the th Parachute Infantry Regiment, st Airborne Division, better known as the "Screaming Eagles" who descended on Hitler's Fortress Europe with the 82nd Airborne during the wee-hours of D-Day for some early-morning foreplay. The Filthies were among the hardest-hitting, harder-drinking roughnecks in the U. Army, and got their name for their tendency to bathe and shave only once a week during training and rarely washing their uniforms, if ever.

Real heroes are disgusting and riddled with easily preventable diseases. Their specialty was blowing the shit out of bridges and whatever else they figured could go "boom" if they strapped it to enough TNT, which caused a nightmare for the Germans as they tried in vain to fend off the Allied invasion.

The jobs were as risky as a shore leave prostitute in Thailand, but the Filthy Thirteen were able to blow the shit out of Nazi-occupied France all the way from Normandy to the Battle of the Bulge, all while smelling worse than, well, a goddamn shore leave prostitute in Thailand. Their fearless leader, Jake McNiece was part Native-American, and his fellow Filthies chose to honor this by going into battle sporting mohawks like Travis Bickle, and freaking war-paint.

But before he even made it that far, McNiece had to enlist and, at the age of 23, was delivered this nugget of advice from the enlisting officer:. I don't know, but your face and your head looks like it's been used as practice for hand grenade tossing and wore out three bodies already. If that's not some movie shit, we don't know what is. I got hit in the right shoulder, which broke my arm all the way down into the forearm.

The bullet was lodged in there for a year. I was able to get away, though, but could not hold my rifle. Unless crapping your pants and falling to the ground in a heap of blubbering womanliness somehow managed to become an escape tactic, there probably isn't a person reading this who would escape some something like that one-armed and unarmed. And if none of that piques your interest, check this quote from Filthy Thirteen member Jack Womer regarding the time he met Winston Churchill, which we proudly present to you with absolutely no additional information to help you ascertain exactly how this came to pass:.

I don't care if he is prime minister, I don't want him urinating on me! With someone who drank like Churchill, the possibilities are endless. In , Dutch farmer Pier Donia was living a happy life with his wife and children in a small village in the Netherlands when a civil war broke out.

Having no military experience to speak of, Donia came to the conclusion that he didn't give two twisted shits about the war and decided to continue farming whatever it is that Dutch people farm. So he was kind of like Mel Gibson at the beginning of Braveheart.

Tulips don't give a crap about your freedom. When his village refused to pay dues to a notorious legion of soldiers loyal to the government known as the Black Band, the soldiers rolled through and burned everything to the ground, raping and killing Donia's wife and murdering his children.

When Donia returned from the fields to see the carnage, he vowed revenge against the Habsburgs and their butt-loving faces. They may take his life, but they'll never take his ability to take their lives. Despite not knowing how a boat works or ever firing a gun in his life, he quickly formed a band of pirates and set sail for some assbeat. By the end of , he had captured 28 Dutch navy boats and become an infamous rebel, earning the truly stunning nickname Grutte Pier "Big Peter" in Dutch.

By , he had started taking over entire villages, and would ransom some of the higher class citizens before burning down their cities himself. He may be going a bit far by now, but he does look fabulous. Later that year, the Dutch ruler Charles V decided he'd had enough of Big Peter and dispatched an entire fleet to stop him.

A man who, let us remind you, came into this with no training or experience. Although he was defeated in the initial attack, Donia struck back by taking the entire fleet of 11 ships before crushing an army of soldiers who showed up as reinforcements. In , disillusioned that he was now becoming the very thing he'd set out to defeat, Donia retired and died of natural causes the next year.

That's right -- he quit because he was kicking too much ass. Nijeholt For his valiant efforts he got a rugby club named after him and Some soldiers are just blessed with luck, regardless of species.

A prime example of this is a mongrel terrier in World War I-era Paris. When Donovan was confronted by the Military Police about running away from his unit, he saw the little ball of fur as his ticket away from court martial. He bullshitted the way back into his unit with the excuse that he'd been hunting the dog all along Somewhere along the line he named the dog Rags, using the time honored method of "its name is what it looks like. The soldier's nickname was "Ears McFlophat.

The bluff worked, largely thanks to the dog, who turned out to be friendliness incarnate and quickly won over the MPs and the commanding officer of Donovan's unit, who promptly made Rags' mascot status official. Rags enjoyed his new gig thoroughly and thanked his new human friends the only way a dog can -- with googly eyes, a wagging tail and impromptu face-licking attacks.

Also, by saving everyone's lives on a daily basis and becoming one of the unit's greatest heroes. When Donovan was transferred to the frontline, he didn't want to risk Rags' life, so he left the little guy behind. The dog, however, wasn't having any of it, and tracked Donovan to the trenches. Realizing that the pup was good at finding his way around, Donovan adapted a secondary strategy: He taught Rags how to run messages between the command and the frontline.

Rags took his promotion incredibly well, regularly delivering important messages despite constant gunfire, explosions, distracting smells and other stuff custom made to lead a dog astray. He wasn't just doing his part, either -- he constantly watched and studied the things the soldiers around him did. When the men hit the dirt upon hearing a shell, Rags would mime their actions. Then, one day, he started throwing himself to ground without any incoming noises at all.

For a while, everyone around went "Awwww" and said "Look, he's trying to be human. Throughout his mimicking antics, Rags had been employing his Pavlovian powers. He now realized that the high-pitched incoming sounds equal explosions, and knew what to do. And so it came to be that the men of his unit soon found themselves imitating Rags. They even replaced "Oh shit! His new status as a lifesaver made Rags a celebrity. He capitalized on his fame by circling all the mess halls he could find, cashing in on his reputation for the finest wartime food available and never once returning to a hall if he felt he hadn't received a warm enough welcome there.

His freewheeling antics were only limited after he got into a fight with Theodore Roosevelt Jr. In July of , Rags was charged with delivering yet another important message. Rags was out in the open when the Germans launched a gas attack, catching him without his doggy gas mask. Undeterred, he took all that the Germans could hit him with, and delivered the message That is, passed away years later at the extremely respectable age of 20 which is like in dog years , as a happy, American family dog.

He survived the shit out of war, and when old age finally took him, he was buried with full military honors and a gravestone that reads "War Hero. The worst injury he ever took in life was a blind eye that resulted from being hit by a freaking car.

Which we're pretty sure he ate immediately afterward. When someone who is not a cartoon character is called "Turbo," it is usually safe to start screaming bullshit. In fact, he got it during the inhumanly hard SEAL training, where some of the fittest soldiers in the world drop like flies from exhaustion. Toboz, however, was hyper throughout the training period, ran incredibly fast and actually thought the whole thing was great fun. Fuck yeah I wanna do some pushups in the sand!

He made it through the training, naturally, and became a full-fledged SEAL who eventually wound up fighting the Taliban in Afghanistan. Joe while reading that sentence , one of the first large-scale battles of the war in Afghanistan. He was part of a six-man team that had flown back into an enemy stronghold atop a mountain to rescue a captured teammate.

Their helicopter was shot down but managed to land safely -- only to be immediately caught up in an ambush. As the team leader ordered them to withdraw, Turbo was hit by automatic weapon fire that somehow spiraled around his left leg, shattering bones and punching a hole the size of a fist in his calf.

Turbo crawled along with the team on all fours, barely visible in three feet of snow, fighting pain, blood loss and the degree weather. Oh, and he fought the enemy, too. He actually provided cover for the rest of the unit all along, refusing to take any morphine for his near-incapacitating pain to be able to do so.

Winners don't do drugs! Not even when the medical professionals tell them to. In the end, they made it out alive. At that point Turbo had lost over three liters of blood and was only able to survive because the cold weather froze his wound shut.

In the hospital, Toboz lived up to his nickname by getting annoyed at the slow pace at which his leg was healing. So he told the doctors to saw it the hell off and give him a bionic leg instead.

They obliged, and Turbo rejoined his unit only nine months later. He still took part on active SEAL combat missions but soon started feeling bad that his new leg only gave him 95 percent ability instead of his usual percent. He is now a badass SEAL trainer , bringing a new element of embarrassment for the recruits by running circles around them with just one good leg. You might picture combat medics pulling off only the basics while on the battlefield -- applying bandages, giving CPR, the stuff you've seen in movies.

But way back in , year-old medic Robert Bush wasn't just giving basic care at the Battle of Okinawa, he was doing the tough stuff -- like administering blood transfusions on the battlefield. If you have a hard time imagining what a blood transfusion looks like outside a sterile hospital setting, start with this picture of another World War II medic delivering plasma to a wounded private:.

But instead of barefoot Sicilian peasants, imagine the medic is surrounded by screaming Marines fighting off Japanese combatants. And picture a gaping chest and shoulder wound in the victim, one that required an immediate plasma delivery to aid in blood coagulation. Go ahead and just picture the fiery pits of the deepest hell while you're at it, because that's the scene we're trying to paint Bush in here. Now, if you were a Japanese soldier fighting for the empire, maybe you'd give pause when coming upon a guy so almost-dead that he's getting a blood transfusion.

Maybe you'd step over him and move on to the next American. If so, good for you, but that's not how things worked at Okinawa. US Navy Rarely do things ever work out for soldiers who fight for any "empire. Bush maintained his position, emptying his pistol into the horde before scooping up the wounded officer's rifle to continue fighting against the onslaught. He continued protecting his "patient" even after a grenade blew up near him, destroying his right eye with shrapnel.

The first grenade took my eye out, and I put my arm up to hold it off, and got some fragments in the other eye. Got a lot in my eye and shoulders. They hit me with three hand grenades in a matter of seconds. I was firing on them with [the lieutenant's] carbine. Every time I saw a Japanese head pop up, I could see the star on their helmets, I'd fire one round a foot below where I saw that head come up, because I knew I couldn't miss, I'd get 'em on the way down.

In the most badass display of bedside manner ever, Bush stayed right at the wounded man's side until the man was finally evacuated. Then he calmly made his way back to the battle aid station, where he promptly passed out.

What these next two guys did in no way turned the tide of the war, and as far as we know it didn't even result in any German casualties. Still, it has to go down as one of the most balls-out crazy things ever attempted in modern warfare.

This is the story of the two guys who decided to single-handedly invade Nazi-occupied France. First, we want you to imagine the most unintentionally hilarious job anyone could have, for any nation, in any war. Peter King and Pvt.

Leslie Cuthbertson have you beat: After trying several times to transfer to fighting units, they decided to take matters into their own hands. In an effort to prevent accusations of desertion, they wrote letters to Prime Minister Winston Churchill explaining the purpose behind their actions.

Then these two dentists, who had no particular espionage or other special training to speak of, stole weapons and grenades from their camp, deciding they'd get proactive on that shit.

They stole a motorboat and set out across the English Channel to France in what was to be the very first invasion of occupied territory of the war, unauthorized though it was. Once there, King and Cuthbertson, who were inspired by stories of raids conducted by the English Special Services, sought out something to raid. It came in the form of a German troop train. Armed with all their considerable dentist training, they waited for any German onlookers to go past them, then placed a grenade under one of the tracks and pulled the pin.

The train successfully disrupted, the two men made the tactically sound decision to get the hell out of the area before they were cut down by enemy soldiers. King and Cuthbertson stayed in Nazi-occupied France for a total of three days before deciding to return to England, somehow not getting killed in the process. They stole another motorboat and made their way across the English Channel. They miscalculated the amount of fuel the boat would need, though, and it wasn't long before they were stranded on the water , where they stayed for more than two weeks before being rescued by the Royal Navy.

They were immediately court-martialed, because it turns out most armies frown on this kind of thing. An intervention by Churchill prevented them from being tried for desertion, but they did end up losing rank. They were, however, allowed to leave the dental corps and transfer to the light infantry So, yeah, we're thinking the guy was kind of wasted as dentist. The star of It's a Wonderful Life garnered a reputation as a loveable scamp who always tried to do the right thing.

Though many of his later roles were darker in tone he did several Hitchcock films and played a troubled trial lawyer in Anatomy of a Murder , the public's perception of him remained that of a swell guy who wouldn't have harmed a fly, mainly because he didn't have the strength to do so. Except he did; Jimmy Stewart was an extremely decorated war hero, with a military career spanning three goddamned decades, from to That's right -- before Pearl Harbor made fighting Japan the cool thing to do, Stewart had made history as the first major American actor to join the war effort.

And if you think this was just some PR stunt so he could get some easy street cred with middle America, think again. Every time a bell rings, Jimmy kills another Nazi. See, Stewart would have had an easy excuse to avoid any actual danger -- he actually failed the Army's height and weight requirements when he tried to enlist. But he was determined to fight for his country and decided to do so as a combat pilot. He swiftly gained 10 pounds, joined the Army Air Corps, and logged more than hours of flight training, just to prove he could do it.

Even then, he had to constantly fight to get anything but an instructor or desk job, both due to his age he was in his 30s and his superiors not wanting to risk a beloved celebrity getting blown to bits on their watch.

But he kept pushing and eventually was deployed to active duty over England. He quickly established himself as his squadron's leader, due to equal parts bravado, expertise, and conveniently having more Oscars than anyone in the room.

Stewart led many bombing runs on Nazi factories and military production centers and led a squadron of bombers in the Battle of Berlin, which would later be referred to as "Black Thursday," due to the excessive number of American casualties suffered. All of this led to an impressive chest of medals by the time he was mustered out of active duty in , due to the war ending and him being damn near But Stewart didn't just win a war and then go home to play pretend for the rest of his life.

No, he remained in the Air Force Reserve for an additional 22 years, worked on a military base during the Korean War, and even flew a non-combat mission in Vietnam.

By the time Stewart finally retired, he had reached the rank of Brigadier one-star General. Ironically, he only appeared in a couple of war movies The Mountain Road and Malaya as he claimed they were "almost never realistic. After conquering the military for real, merely pretending to do so would've been too damn boring. The British noticed that the subs stayed far away from any ships that could actually shoot back, so it made sense to disguise the warships as small merchant ships.

They also noticed that the subs surfaced when they attacked, so the idea was that they could lure the Germans to what looked like an easy target, then blow them to smithereens when they broke the surface. This was not by itself a particularly crazy idea. But this disguise had to be convincing, by golly! Historians have written entire books about the British "genius for deception. The sailors donned costumes, so they wouldn't look like military when viewed through a periscope.

Some of them dressed as women and walked around on deck snuggling with other dudes. Some dressed with fake parrots, or in blackface. No way this offends literally everyone in the future. They even choreographed elaborate displays where once a U-boat was spotted, they would act like panicked civilians and begin to abandon ship while making a show of running into each other and tripping and falling.

Some crews would even jump into the lifeboats and pretend to accidentally leave someone behind, and he would stand on the railing screaming for them to come back and get him. Meanwhile, guns were hidden all over the ships, behind normal-looking hatches, inside shipping crates, under fake smokestacks, behind false walls and inside fake lifeboats.

Once the unsuspecting U-boat surfaced for the easy kill, the captain pulled a lever, all the trapdoors would open and guns would point out the sides and blow the baffled Germans to hell. Or that's how they tell the story anyway. You know how war stories are. Oh, and apparently at least 70 German submarines actually fell for this, and 14 of them were sunk, making cross-dressing sailors the seventh leading cause of death for World War I German submariners.

And the second leading cause of questioned sexuality. Richard "Demo Dick" Marcinko started his career just as badass as he left it. So he used the "Br'er Rabbit" method and simply punched someone in the face, for which he was naturally punished -- by being sent to UDT. He looks like he could stop trains with his face. During Marcinko's time with UDT and later as a Navy SEAL in Vietnam, he and his band of marauders became such a problem for the Vietcong in his area of operation that a 50, piaster reward was offered for his head.

In a career that eerily resembles the Rambo franchise, he was highly decorated in Vietnam and then went looking for other conflicts to sort out in places like Cambodia. There is even a story about him body-surfing behind a military patrol boat while under enemy fire. Seriously, he really did that shit. Marcinko became so elite in the Navy SEALs that they started having to invent new, more elite teams just to find somewhere to put him.

Eventually, he wound up commanding something called Red Cell -- his job was to fly around the world, attacking and infiltrating the U. Ironically, Red Cell was so good at what it was being paid to do that it embarrassed the shit out of a military that, as it turns out, couldn't cope at all against it. And Marcinko took his job dead seriously, kidnapping high-ranking personnel and even their families, "mildly torturing" them to get nuclear codes and wound up kidnapping one admiral twice.

It wasn't long before a bunch of bruised, disgruntled commanders decided to have Marcinko railroaded out of the military, if only so they could sleep a full night again without him swinging through their windows like Batman. Their investigation fell flat, making fools of them yet again, so even after Marcinko retired, they kept going after him in an effort to find anything that would stick.

The FBI eventually did convict him on trumped-up charges and sentenced him to a year in some minimum-security prison, but he used that time to write a No. Demo Dick is currently forbidden by law from writing any more about the military, so he now exclusively writes popular "fiction" about the adventures of an elite badass who is totally not him embarrassing a bunch of pussies who are totally not the U.

Judy was born in a Shanghai dog kennel in and presented to the British Royal Navy. She was assigned to the HMS Grasshopper for some good and proper naval life, which was cruelly interrupted by enemy torpedo fire and the ensuing sinking, increasingly wet feeling.

The crew barely managed to save themselves by making their way to an uninhabited island. They found Judy clinging to a piece of the broken ship, alive but exhausted. Despite the fact that they had little food and no water at all, they decided to nurse the dog back to health. This proved to be a good move, as Judy thanked her saviors by finding them a water source and saving the lives of every single survivor.

The refreshed soldiers attempted to reach an Allied-controlled area, only to be almost immediately taken prisoner. This was a crappy scenario for Judy, who the men managed to smuggle in the POW camp with them, as animals possess no wartime rights whatsoever. The camp provided everyone a whole lot of troubles of their own, so she was left to her own devices and would probably have perished Williams took a liking to the starving dog, shared his meager rations with her and looked after her.

He also managed to get the enemy camp commandant to give her official POW status in order to protect her. We like to think that the officer took a long, hard look at Judy, who was nonchalantly eyeing the sky and doing her level best to whistle innocuously, and thought: I'm coming to get you.

Judy went on to abuse the shit out of her new legal status. She saved the lives of numerous prisoners by actively attacking any and all guards attempting to deliver beatings. She nearly received retribution more than once, but each time Williams managed to talk the guards out of harming her.

In exchange, Judy rarely left Williams' side, protecting him with all her might and warning him from impending danger, be it guards, snakes or scorpions. But this time, Judy was ready.

Navigation menu